What do you say???

What do you say to a little girl who doesn’t want her tenth birthday to come?

It isn’t right, she should be full of excitement as she enters double figures. Yet all she can think of is that her big sister didn’t live to ten.

Her head is full of questions she is struggling to answer. To be honest I have no answers.

Will Livvy still be my big sister when I’m ten?

Why didn’t Livvy get to ten?

I tell her of heavenly birthday parties with as much cake as you could ever imagine. I remind her of Livvy’s freedom of the awful evilness of Rett syndrome, how her heavenly birthdays are free from seizures and pain.

Comfort is little for a little girl who misses her big sister so much. Talking about her today she told that me that sometimes it hurts to breathe, hurts to remember. How I know those feelings!

Yet I don’t want them for my nearly ten year old. I want the only thing to be worrying her about her birthday is what outfit to wear.

Part of me wishes I could take her away, throw her a big party but the reality of life and bills to pay don’t allow me to do this.

I just have to pray that my hugs, my love will be enough to make a hard day the special day it should be.


About sarawith4

I'm a stay at home mom who loves her faith and and family. I am a new christian and still learning about the glory and grace of our Lord. I'm also a grieving mom who has to try each day to smile. Knowing my child is with the Lord brings me comfort but doesn't take away the pain of missing them.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to What do you say???

  1. Bobbie says:

    So touching. I wish her a wonderful happy birthday and that by reaching the mile stone it’ll help her to be able to look forward to her next birthday.

  2. Tia says:

    That’s hard. And doubly hard, being unexpected I guess.

    Imi’s little sister (not Amana) calls her “my Big Little Sister” – would that work so Livvy can be forever 9 without losing her place in the family?


  3. urbanvox says:

    That really is hard… 😦
    jusg hug and cuddle her up to you heart’s content… it won’t change things…. but it will be good for you and for her!! And that is good!

  4. Aw sweetie, I know its tough hearing that they are hurting because as with all our children we just want to wrap them up from the pain and hurt but just remember it stems from love. I remember my 15th birthday, I refused flatly to celebrate it because in the 12 months before we had lost my grandma and then my grandpa, as far as I was concerned there was no reason to celebrate when two important people weren’t here. Sending big hugs and I hope whatever she does for her birthday you all have fun 🙂 x

  5. Your hugs and love are what she needs – just perfect!

    What a beautiful and sensitive girl she is. Livvy would be so proud of you all.

    Mich x

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s