What do you say to a little girl who doesn’t want her tenth birthday to come?
It isn’t right, she should be full of excitement as she enters double figures. Yet all she can think of is that her big sister didn’t live to ten.
Her head is full of questions she is struggling to answer. To be honest I have no answers.
Will Livvy still be my big sister when I’m ten?
Why didn’t Livvy get to ten?
I tell her of heavenly birthday parties with as much cake as you could ever imagine. I remind her of Livvy’s freedom of the awful evilness of Rett syndrome, how her heavenly birthdays are free from seizures and pain.
Comfort is little for a little girl who misses her big sister so much. Talking about her today she told that me that sometimes it hurts to breathe, hurts to remember. How I know those feelings!
Yet I don’t want them for my nearly ten year old. I want the only thing to be worrying her about her birthday is what outfit to wear.
Part of me wishes I could take her away, throw her a big party but the reality of life and bills to pay don’t allow me to do this.
I just have to pray that my hugs, my love will be enough to make a hard day the special day it should be.