If I had an enormous bag I would happily fill it up with Christmas 2010 and after tying it tight I would leave it outside for the rubbish men.
(Sorry not the normal cheery post about Christmas, honest blogging and all.)
What a few days, I’m exhausted, frustrated, devastated and angry all in one. Why do I get myself worked up about pleasing others and then beating myself up when I can’t? It seems you can’t please all of the people all of the time and some people well you can never please them. I have learned a valuable lesson though, to let go of some expectations.
Ok, maybe I am exaggerating a little, they has been some amazing moments. The girl’s faces on Christmas morning were special watching them get excited was so wonderful. Yet going to the cemetery to leave flowers at your daughter’s graves tends to damper your spirits.
I am so grateful for what’s in my life, but this Christmas I have been so aware of what is missing!
So add the flu to hormonal teenage girls well less said the better. I think sometimes you do have to just accept that life isn’t the way you wish. I know that having the flu has zapped from me the strength I usually have for the false bravado that I can normally summon to hide my tears. I’ve barely had the energy to do anything. Brodie also has suffered and this has left her sad and missing too.
So yes Christmas 2010, thank you for the joy but goodbye. I am so glad to see you leave. A lot has happened in 2010, a lot of heartache, loss for friends, family. It’s been one heck of a year. I’ve learned a lot about myself this year and faces things I never imagined I would have the courage or strength to face.
I guess while 2010 has been a stinking year I do have a lot of things to be thankful for.
I am looking forward to the New Year with hope; we have exciting new things happening for us that I know will bring love and laughter into our home. I am filled with promise for 2011.
Yet I am going to spend the last few days of this year in rest;
” My soul finds rest in God alone: My salvation comes from Him.” – Psalms 62:1
I am going to rest in my Lord, knowing that whatever I have faced I didn’t do it alone and whatever the future brings my Lord is by my side.
His love is eternal.
” And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”1 Corinthians 13:13