Do you we all have them? Moments when nothing makes sense. When the whole world feels overwhelming. Where the tears fall and you cannot stop them.
I call mine the Livvy moments, when the missing breaks through my defences and the pain overrun’s my heart. I have no way of controlling them. They happen at the strangest of times. I have to just hold on and ride the waves.
I’m stuck in two minds over these moments. Part of me thinks well I should have them, they are a reminder of my loss my missing of my darling daughter Livvy.
Yet another part wishes they wouldn’t come so often. The strength I need to fight the following despair sometimes makes me worry if I will always have the energy to overcome.
I want my memories to bring me joy not pain. I want to see her smile in my mind and it to fill me with the joy of the remembered moment not the pain of no more memories.
I wonder if I will ever reach this place. At times I think I have reached there, then a Livvy moment happens.
I remind myself that we all have moments like this for a vast amount of reasons yet for the most we survive and live to fight another day.
So to another day xx