Do you we all have them? Moments when nothing makes sense. When the whole world feels overwhelming. Where the tears fall and you cannot stop them.

I call mine the Livvy moments, when the missing breaks through my defences and the pain overrun’s  my heart. I have no way of controlling them. They happen at the strangest of times. I have to just hold on and ride the waves.

I’m stuck in two minds over these moments. Part of me thinks well I should have them, they are a reminder of my loss my missing of my darling daughter Livvy.

Yet another part wishes they wouldn’t come so often. The strength I need to fight the following despair sometimes makes me worry if I will always have the energy to overcome.

I want my memories to bring me joy not pain. I want to see her smile in my mind and it to fill me with the joy of the remembered moment not the pain of no more memories.

I wonder if I will ever reach this place. At times I think I have reached there, then a Livvy moment happens.

I remind myself that we all have moments like this for a vast amount of reasons yet for the most we survive and live to fight another day.

So to another day xx


About sarawith4

I'm a stay at home mom who loves her faith and and family. I am a new christian and still learning about the glory and grace of our Lord. I'm also a grieving mom who has to try each day to smile. Knowing my child is with the Lord brings me comfort but doesn't take away the pain of missing them.
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3 Responses to Moments

  1. Tia says:

    I have moments like this and I am sure I always will. And then I have other moments where the memories are just pure joy. They do happen. But the sadness, the bittersweet memories, they are precious too; she’s left a big hole.

  2. Walking with Angels is such a beautiful title for this very poignant post. The angels will indeed be by her side and that smile will never falter.

    CJ xx

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