Can I be a good friend??

I’m not sure I’m cut out to be a friend. I seem to have a track record of messing things up. Not though cruelty or nastiness just the changing of life.

I came across some pictures the other day of a group of friends having a good time, the only thing different for me was that I was missing from the photos. I remember occasions previously when I would have been there, yet I wasn’t. It’s no ones fault just that my world dramatically changed and theirs hadn’t.

I have heard it said that sometimes people come into our life for a moment, a day or lifetime and I guess I just have to accept this and move. Yes the world does carry on turning.

I know for a fact that I’m not the same person I was before Livvy died so why should I expect to be surrounded by the same people.

I don’t want people to read this post and think I’m bitter because I’m not, it’s a experience I have lived before when Livvy was diagnosed, some people who I classed as dear friends couldn’t cope with the life I had to live. That’s ok, we are all different.

Life is forever changing and we are forever growing. Yet I must admit I do wonder if friendship and I do mix.

I know I can be quite selfish and just want to spend time with my family. I forget to text and phone calls well phone phobia doesn’t help here. I’m lousy at making plans mostly due to being the personal assistant to three adorable but busy girls.

I also love time on my own, reading, praying, blogging.

Where do you find the time to be a good friend, the kind I want to be?

My husband tells me I’m adjusting and that I will relax and embrace the joy of friendship again. He is probably right (please don’t tell him I said that), but I wonder at this moment.

I have nearly deleted this post because it sounds full of self-pity

That’s not where I’m at!!!!

I do have some amazing friends don’t get me wrong but I worry that I let them down. I guess my husband is right. I think way too much.

Today I’m taking comfort in the fact that whatever life throws at me I have a friend in Jesus.

“No one has greater love [no one has shown stronger affection] than to lay down (give up) his own life for his friends. ” John 15: 13

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About sarawith4

I'm a stay at home mom who loves her faith and and family. I am a new christian and still learning about the glory and grace of our Lord. I'm also a grieving mom who has to try each day to smile. Knowing my child is with the Lord brings me comfort but doesn't take away the pain of missing them.
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4 Responses to Can I be a good friend??

  1. kingfisher says:

    It’s not only easy to let friendships slide, and life glide, but for some of us, being alone is absolutely necessary. I fight the feeling of “I ought to” a lot. Today, I thought it would be fun to attend an art center open house, also go see the display of 90 tabletop nativity sets at a local church. And then I got out of bed! And said no, I don’t think it would be either fun, or productive for me to go. I could have “made” myself do it, but the purpose of the outing would have been lost, besides which I would pay for it with a too-weary body the rest of the day and probably tomorrow.

    I guess all we can do is keep aiming to show kindness to others and finding ways to nourish our inner selves, but still give ourselves permission to Not Feel Guilty if we don’t do the things we think we ought to do for Christ’s sake (as well as for our own welfare). There’s a difference between not wanting to see other people or mix well with anyone else because we’d rather be self-centered, and not mingling as much as we think we ought to, because of our circumstances.

    God loves you just as you are, Sara. I think we need to hold on to the saying that says, “God Sees You as You Can Be, but Loves You Just As You Are.” And then to be open and willing for him to change us, to re-create us anew in his own image, and lead us into his will for our lives — whether that means growing and going “outward” or being content to stay “inward, with him.”

  2. Tina says:

    Being a good friend is so much more than getting to events and being together. Often the best thing we can do for friends is to let them know we are praying for them. You do that so well. I am so glad to have you as my friend. Much as I long to see you face to face again. I would rather know you are a loving caring praying friend than not know you.
    Hugs

  3. Anna says:

    Hi Sara, Thanks for visiting my blog. I’m so glad you’re doing the ‘friends’ memory verse challenge. Yes, good friends are important, and it’s lovely sometimes just to have time with family too. But we do need to take time out too to spend with God and just to refresh and renew our souls. Even Jesus did this – he’d withdraw to pray and spend time alone with God. The closer my walk with God then hopefully the better my relationship with people.

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