Unexpected Encouragement

When I agreed to be part of the weekly link up by Faith Barista, “Faith Barista Jam “.I began to panic this week’s was on Unexpected Encouragement. I’ve been struggling through many emotions the biggest one being my grief. I wasn’t sure I would find the encouragement or be aware enough to notice it.

I should have had more faith. In some incredible amazing way God gives you what you need, the answers, the support, the encouragement, the hope.

After writing a book review for a Christian magazine, I was overjoyed to receive a gift through the post. A book “Choosing to SEE “by Mary Beth Chapman. I knew of this book, to be honest I knew the story behind the book. Steven Curtis Chapman’s album “Beauty will rise” had got me through many nights when the pain of my grief overwhelmed me and crushed my heart. When the endless “Why’s” denied me sleep. The words of these songs kept me hanging on.

So I knew of the book but had been scared to order it, scared to read a mother’s pain, the rawness of her aching spirit. I was barely coping with my own grief.

Yet I found myself opening the first page. I felt as if God had sent it to me to read, so I trusted in him.

Bless you Mary Beth! The pages are tear-stained, my heart is torn yet my soul is filled with hope. Reading your (Mary Beth) accounts of Maria made my heart smile. Livvy was my bundle of mischief, my Tinkerbell.

Mary Beth spoke of the quietness that had been left behind. I know that silence. The great gaping hole which had once been filled with the cheeky spirit of my darling daughter.

As I read through the pages my own journey was to be found in the words. The doctor at the hospital telling me there was nothing they could do, Livvy was gone.

The guilt, I’m her mom I should have seen, should have known, and should have saved her.

The pain of watching your husband, your children cope with a loss that no one should ever have to face.

“This is not how it should be

This is not how it could be

But this is how it is

And our God is in control”

                                             Steven Curtis Chapman & Mary Beth Chapman

Yet as I read the words through tear filled eyes. I felt Jesus by my side, telling me he was there with me. I have always believed it, now I knew it, I wasn’t alone.

There was so many emotions Mary Beth wrote about I could relate to, yet I know each journey is different. How we survive is up to us.

In “Choosing to SEE” I found unexpected encouragement. I found HOPE!

I pray each day for my darling daughter. She holds a piece of my heart that will never be complete until we are reunited again. Yet I do take comfort and strength from my faith. Livvy is in the arms of Jesus.

I live with HOPE.

“And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love in our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom he has given us” 

         Romans 5.5

Just one more hug

                                                                           

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About sarawith4

I'm a stay at home mom who loves her faith and and family. I am a new christian and still learning about the glory and grace of our Lord. I'm also a grieving mom who has to try each day to smile. Knowing my child is with the Lord brings me comfort but doesn't take away the pain of missing them.
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13 Responses to Unexpected Encouragement

  1. Susie says:

    HUgs. You may want to hook link this post up when i do the linky on sunday for this week’s kindness club prompt:

    http://www.newdaynewlesson.com/?p=4414&cpage=1#comment-5037

  2. Donna says:

    I hear your heart missing your precious daughter. I hear your hope. May the presence of Hope and Grace be especially tangible during this time.

  3. Amy says:

    I saw this book, but honestly I was scared to pick it up. Not because I have gone through the pain of losing a child, but because I think I am afraid to read about the pain. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on the book. I think I need to get a copy for myself.

  4. Melissa says:

    My heart aches with you. While I haven’t lost a child, my dad passed away a couple months ago. There is a gap, a hole of silence, too. I was sharing that with my husband yesterday and I still am not sure what to do, except have hope that I will see him again.

    The Chapman’s story is incredible and I can’t wait to read that book.

  5. bahava says:

    oh i wish i could give you a big hug. thank you for sharing this…and God is so faithful to show up in the midst of our hurt. praying for you this morning…

  6. Debbie says:

    Beautiful! And I don’t just say that as a quick word to leave and run to the next blog. It is simply the best way to describe how I feel after listening to your blog. You have expressed your raw emotions in such a beautiful way that brings glory to our Lord….beautiful!!!

  7. Reading all the faith jam posts…Isn’t it wonderful how God gives us the encouragement we need right when we need it? A kind word, a song, a book. I think it’s interesting that you write about the Chapmans. So many times, his music has given me the encouragement I’ve needed for that day.

  8. Debbie says:

    Oh my! My heart is hurting as I read your words. I’m new to your blog so I will take some time to read about your Livvy. I can understand your reluctance to read Mary Beth’s book given your own loss. But I loved how it was an unexpected encouragement, especially when you planned to write on the Faith Barista Jam. How like our God to provide at just the right time.

    I know the story of Maria and hope to read the Chapman’s book soon.

    Blessings and love,
    Debbie

  9. Cherie says:

    So happy that you continue to find encouragement to help you through your grief. HUGS

  10. Amazing journey of faith. You are living it. You are doing it, Saea. Real life with God, in the deepest recesses of your very being. I am so comforted to know if I find myself there one day with my boys, I have a God — we have a God — who can carry us through it and bring hope in the pain. Thank you for such tender, fresh words.

  11. Amy Nabors says:

    Thank you for sharing. I haven’t experienced the loss of a child, but have still hesitated to pick up this book. Praying you continue finding encouragement in your grief.

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