Laid to Rest ??

Why do we use the term laid to rest. When I think of my children who have gone before me, resting is the last thing I will be expecting them to be doing.

I imagine Livvy free from the physical burdens of Rett syndrome. Running, dancing living life to the full. I really can’t grasp the concept of laying to rest.

Yesterday I had the honour of attending Ryan’s funeral. Any event like this is hard, but no mother should have to bury her child. Ryan’s family did him proud. I was choked when the car pulled up to see a Dr Who coffin. How crazy, how Ryan.

The chapel was filled to the rafters, standing room only. People from many walks of life, family, friends, and professionals, anyone who came into contact with Ryan were touched by his beautiful spirit. Yesterday’s attendance proved that. He was, no he is much-loved.

I have to confess it was a hard for me. The last time I had attended the chapel was for Livvy’s funeral. So you can imagine the turmoil in my mind and heart.

The tears they fell. Yet I was filled with a mixture of emotions, grief of course was paramount but this is going to sound awful I was envious in a way.

Envious you ask? I know it is wrong but I was of Ryan. As I watched his committal I was struck that with the freedom of the body Ryan was with his eternal father in heaven but most of all Ryan was with Livvy.  How terrible am I to feel this way. But as we joked about the kids being reunited all I could think at the time was Ryan you lucky monkey you get to kiss her, to hold her. Two things I know he will be doing.

I’ve never been frightened of death, if I’m truthful I find life a lot harder to handle. Since finding my faith death is something I kind of look forward to, not in a morbid way. When my time comes, I will be free from this earthly body; I get to be with Jesus, in heaven where perfection is the normal. No more hunger, no poverty just pure love. Jesus promised that we will all be reunited with our loved ones. So I know that I will hold my daughter again

Luke 23; 43 “Jesus answered him. “I tell you the truth, today you will be with me in paradise”

Yet in all this I know I still have a life to live here first. So yes I was slightly envious yesterday. We still have work to do here before we reach eternity.

As I sat there yesterday listening to the memories of Ryan, I watched the pain on his mothers face. My dear friend how I love and admire her so much. How I know that pain! How I wished I could take it away, but like myself I know if she was asked if she would live it all over again I know she would.

Ryan was blessed with an amazing mom and dad and brother and sister to. I only hope and pray that in the coming times they will find comfort in their memories or like me in the knowledge that two best friends are reunited.

Watch out heaven Double Trouble are together again.


About sarawith4

I'm a stay at home mom who loves her faith and and family. I am a new christian and still learning about the glory and grace of our Lord. I'm also a grieving mom who has to try each day to smile. Knowing my child is with the Lord brings me comfort but doesn't take away the pain of missing them.
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to Laid to Rest ??

  1. SomeGirl says:

    That is so sweet… and so sad at the same time. May you know God’s peace as you live here while she (and he) LIVE there. One day… one fine morning… it will all be GOOD. Love, Michelle

  2. Beth Rosewell says:

    Just beautifully written Sara, tears are flowing knowing this is what we will be doing tomorrow. So sad but we have such hope. All we can do is Trust.
    At lotties Funeral we are singing “it is well with my soul”
    When peace like a river atendeth my way
    When sorrows like sea billows roll
    what ever my lot
    thou has caused me to know
    It IS well it IS well with my soul.

  3. whittmadden says:

    May God continue to be the source of your comfort. My prayers are with you.

  4. I love that last line. Double trouble are together again. (((((Sara)))))

    Mich x

  5. Hayley says:

    I’m emotional today anyway and thats just done it. Theres gonna be alot of activity in heaven now they are back together by the sounds of it.

    When we buried Steven in Feb it was horrible having to watch the pain his mother went through and still is going through. Sadly its still not over for us with the inquest coming up.

    At least Ryan and Livvy are now at peace together, free from the pain and limitations of life itself!

  6. Tina says:

    Yes. Rest in Peace? No fear! Praise Worship sing and dance always and forever!
    This life is not all there is. Hallelujah! Even so come Lord Jesus.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s