Today my daughter should have left primary school

Dear Livvy

Hey babes today you would be leaving primary school and stepping out into the strange world of seniors.

I wonder how you would have reacted when that day in September came and you had to enter a new school. You were never very keen on change. The senior school I’m told is excellent remember we watched in being built. All snazzy with a new pool and therapy area. To be truthful you wouldn’t have cared about the building, you were always about the people. If they were kind and fun you were happy.


You had this amazing way of knowing people; it was like you could see inside to their inner soul and knew what kind of heart they had. Some would light up your face others wouldn’t even get eye contact. You were a great judge of character.


I was looking at the facebook pictures of your friends at the leavers’ assembly. I’ve got to confess it’s hard. Well it’s wonderful to see them all grown and excited for the future but all I can see is the fact that you are missing.

I know you will be shouting at me from Heaven and yes I know I should know better, but its days like this that the pain just gets a little worse and clouds my thinking.

Your sisters and I were chatting about you this morning. They reminded me of the mischievous minx you were, you are. How the poor staff at the senior school wouldn’t have know your cheeky ways and how you would have loved that.

 They also reminded me where you are right now. In Heaven a place we all wish to be. How you are now free from the constant pain and limitations Rett syndrome placed upon your body. They are right of course. Just some days this doesn’t make the pain of losing you any easier.

Then Kennedy, bless her told me she was jealous of you, this surprised me so I asked her to elaborate.  She explained that you were now with Jesus and all the great men and women that have gone before us. She asked me to imagine the teachings you could have. To be taught about your faith by God’s son. To be taught history by the people who made it, to be showed science by the creators.

What a mass of images your sister gave me. What a gift.

So yes young lady I’m hurting I won’t even try to deny this. But I do know we will be together again and I have to be patient. Then on that day when we are reunited you can tell me all about your schooling Heaven style.

Miss you baby .

Mom xx


About sarawith4

I'm a stay at home mom who loves her faith and and family. I am a new christian and still learning about the glory and grace of our Lord. I'm also a grieving mom who has to try each day to smile. Knowing my child is with the Lord brings me comfort but doesn't take away the pain of missing them.
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7 Responses to Today my daughter should have left primary school

  1. Adrielle says:

    I can’t imagine how hard it would be to lose such a beautiful child! You are a very inspiring lady, and your girls sound so sweet.

    ~Adrielle =)

  2. Hayley says:

    Oh babes you do know how to make me cry dont you! Kennedy is one smart young lady thats for sure! Way beyond her years already clearly! Thats blown me away completely what she said! xx

  3. Tina says:

    Love you Kennedy!

    Love you to Sara and thanks for sharing allthose wonderful pictures of Livvy….we thought her beautiful then now she is made perfect in God’s image…..BEAUTIFUL!

    Oh Lord Jesus HOW LONG, Till we shout that great Song?
    Christ returneth Hallelujah Hallelujah AMEN!


  4. SomeGirl says:

    What a beautiful letter! Livvy sounds like a wonderful person! May God comfort you with His mighty love and peace. Love, Michelle

  5. Teena says:

    praying for you. Thank you for sharing your heart. I can’t imagine… hugs.

    Love the pics.


  6. Susie says:

    Oh hun-just wanted to send big massive hugs. I have two close friends who have lost children and this past week my sister lost her unborn baby at 36 weeks.

    I know what pain you must have carried and still carry in your heart.

    I wish for only future happiness and joy in your life.


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