Friendship is one of those things I have been known to shy away from. I don’t know why really. A few bad experiences, but nothing that really should hold me back.
It may be that I can be rather selfish with my time and forget to establish the connections we all need. It’s not through intent just the chaotic nature of normal life.
I seem to have different groupings of friends, friends with disabled children, friends from school, and friends from church. None really seem to cross over the boundaries. Oh I nearly forgot online friends too.
I wonder if these friends ever see the whole me, do I try to round myself off to be the type of person they like. None of this is their asking, just my trust issues raising their ugly heads.
Where am I going with this you wonder, well I’m getting there. The other night at Life group we were discussing our self-worth. Or in many of our cases lack of self-worth and what came to our attention was God’s love for us. God wishes to be our friend.
How amazing is that, God wants to be my friend. He wants me to turn to him in times of trouble. When I am grieving he wants to dry my tears. When joy fills my heart he wants to share it with me. My laughter, my heartache he wants to be part of it all. How awesome is our God.
“He is a God who is passionate about a relationship with you” Exodus 34; 14
As I grow older and hopefully wiser I do crave friendship in my life. I hear people talk, read when people write about their best friends and with no desire to sound like a complete loser I really want a best friend, or friends. Someone to confide in. Someone to share giggles with. Go out for a meal and just chat with. Maybe even go shopping with (ok be real I may never be able to enjoy shopping but I will try).
Why now you are asking, well you may not be but I will answer anyway. Because I am learning to love myself, learning I have self-worth. There are people who will, who do enjoy my company. It has taken me a long time to reach this point and I believe that the final piece of the self belief puzzle came when I found my faith.
With my faith and the strength God installs in me I will venture out into this frightening world of friendship. I will allow myself to forge connections when normally I would hide. I will embrace friendships. I’m aware it may not always work out for me, whatever happens I know that in God I have a best friend forever.