One of the main questions people ask me when they hear my story is “How do you carry on?”
I’m not sure I have a real answer. Losing my child nearly destroyed me, but I have to remember the three amazing girls who are still with me. I know that in Heaven God is holding my angels tight. If I wasn’t here or strong who would be there for my girls.
Everything in this life is part of something bigger. What my part is to be honest I haven’t a clue. In fact there have been many times when I would wish my life could be read from a different script. In faith I have to stay strong and remind myself that God knows.
Fighting my way through my grief is a daily struggle. Some days it feels like a new battle every hour, every minute. The emotions are so raw not giving into the despair inside.
When we lost Livvy, Alan and I had to put our grief to one side and look into the faces of our girls. How we handled life from here forward would be the life lesson they would learn.
We read a lot of siblings account’s of when their brother or sister died how they felt they had lost their parents too. Not physically but emotionally. The grief simply drained the life out of them. This could have easily happened to us, at times we both came incredibly close, but we held on. WHY??? For our girls, Kennedy, Eden and Brodie.
Losing their sister devastated my girls. No many how many squabbles they have the bond between my daughters amazes me. Even death hasn’t broken this bond. Livvy is talked about and laughed about daily; she is still part of our family. Death for us is only a temporary separation.
For Alan and I as parents we had no choice but to carry on. Our children had learned the pain of grief and sorrow. We had to remind them of the joy of love. They needed to see us laugh again, love again.
Our second loss could have destroyed us, but I thank God each day for my brave incredible daughters as they reminded us that each day we spend together is a blessing.
Memories are one of my greatest gifts, if I could tell any parent one thing it would be. “Create memories every day.”